Pedantry Top Three

Since I returned to higher education I have become something of a pedant or, as some people prefer to suggest, a language fascist. This may be because I am having to pay more attention to what I write, knowing that my compositions will be scrutinised, rather than merely read. Of course, if I am going to demand such high standards of myself then I am damn well going to treat my fellows in the same manner: a sort of perversion of the Golden Rule - 'do unto others as you do unto yourself.'

Consequently I have joined the legion of hand-wringers bemoaning the destruction of the English language. Above and beyond the increasing usage of SMS style language on the Internet, which has always been acronym heavy anyway, I get angry about the misuse of certain words. As such, I find the following five cases particularly annoying...

1) Less/Fewer
This is such a common mistake that it will probably not be seen as such in the near future. For those who don't know, you should use 'fewer' when you are talking about things that you count individually, such as apples, baboons or Californians; you should use 'less' for things that you measure or otherwise perceive as a continuum, like water, time and colours (as in 'less yellow').

2) Literally
Earlier this year, I was listening to a discussion about American policy towards Cuba on the radio. The presenter was interviewing a university professor about the subject during which the esteemed academic said something along the lines of "the American government literally has a strangle-hold on the Cuban people." Did he seriously expect us to believe that U.S. politicians and bureaucrats spent their time on that Caribbean island with hands clasped around the necks of the populace? I know some people accept that 'literally' can be used mean 'in effect' and to add emphasis to a statement, but that rather undermines the proper usage of the word.

3) Imply/Infer
This is something of an old chestnut and I include it because other language pedants would be let down had I not. So, for the record, the speaker/writer implies; the listener/reader infers. It really is as simple as that. As far as I know, this distinction is not being undermined in the same manner as the other two cases I mentioned, but it is surely only a matter of time.

C U SN 4 MR RNTS N STF

p.s. I realise that by posting this rant I have opened myself up to űber-pedants leaving comments correcting my grammar and punctuation. I look forward to seeing such criticisms because I am willing to learn and become a greater language fascist than I am already.

Wednesday wallpaper: Sunset

This weeks wallpaper is a photograph of a particularly colourful sunset taken this summer.


As ever I have created a number of version with different dimensions. Simply click on the appropriate link for your screen settings.

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Rich Hall

Rich Hall is one of my favourite comedians currently working. After making a number of appearances on popular US talk shows, such as Late Night with David Letterman, and working as a regular on Saturday Night Live, Hall carved out a career for himself across the Atlantic in the UK, where he has become a mainstay of comedy panel shows, including QI and Never Mind the Buzzcocks. He may have found a more ready acceptance of his dry sardonic humour in Britain; he certainly appears to have found more work here in the UK since the mind-90s than he has done in his native US.

He had published a number of books, including the excellent Things Snowball - a collection of short prose pieces that showcase his imaginative wit and love of language. My favourite piece is a response to a 'Dear John' letter written as if it were an academic article, fully footnoted and indexed. Hall also invented the term 'sniglet' - any word that isn't in the dictionary but should be - and has published several collections of them. An example of a sniglet is "Furnidents: The indentations left in carpet after moving heavy furniture."

The following videos are of Hall's 2005 appearance on Jack Dee Live at the Apollo, which includes language and ideas that may be offensive to some people.

Wednesday wallpaper: Wells Cathedral

In a new weekly feature I will be sharing some images to be used as desktop backgrounds or wallpapers. For the full screen wallpapers I will create a variety of versions for each of the popular screen dimensions; however, if you use a screen size that I do not cater for please let me know by leaving a comment and I will endeavour to include it in future.

First up is a photograph of the west front of Wells Cathedral in Somerset, England.

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